


His Protectors

by zaniamsextoy



Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:03:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaniamsextoy/pseuds/zaniamsextoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam runs into Zayn, and Zayn's daughter, the lovechild that caused their break up four years ago, in a chance encounter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! The updates will be short as to leave you on the edge of suspense. I hope you guys fall in love with her as much as I did. You'll understand when you start reading. I hope all of you enjoy :)

The busy street is a buzz in the distance. Men and women walked aimlessly down the street, suitcases at hand, cellphone pressed to their ears, ignoring the beauty of the first day of spring.

Liam stood near his flat window, looking out at the brand new morning.

The snow from treetops melted, leaving their leaves fresh and beautiful. Flowers blossomed in pretty colors. Liam liked the tulips that were planted in a decorative display near the porch of his upstate townhouse in the heart of busy Picadilly, London.

Today would be an excellent day to go to the park, he thought, smiling widely. Maybe a small picnic for one to soak up some sun rays?

And before his thought process ended, he was already grabbing a basket from the closet, then finding something for lunch in the kitchen. He prepared a few sandwiches, packed drinks and a blanket to lie on before heading down to Green Park a few blocks down from where he lived. 

The park was busy yet quite serene, apart from the laughing children and passerby’s.

Liam smiled at the children when they waved and walked on the cement path, surrounded by tall trees that sprouted crisp, green leaves. He soaked in the warm sunshine and the gentle, cool breeze sweeping through the park.

A good distance in, Liam walked off the pathway into an open field where he laid out his red and white checkered blanket in a secluded area. He freed his feet from his tan loafers, taking one long stretch, his faded blue shirt riding up his happy trail before lying down himself.

The sun was strong, toasty.

Liam folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes, absorbing the soothing and tranquil ambiance. And although just waking up from a good sleep, Liam couldn’t help but drift off into a snooze. 

When he woke up from his nap, it was not purposely. There was something poking him in his rib and when he opened his eyes, the sunlight blinded him at first, but then muted, to reveal a small girl who looked no older than four. She had long, straight black hair, unbelievably good bone structure and a pair of hazel eyes. Her outstretched hand held a small twig and she poked Liam’s side until noticing that he was awake and she blushed bright red. 

“Oi, what you reckon doing that for?” Liam said playfully.

Today was a beautiful day and the strange, little girl was too precious to be mad at. She wore all black which Liam thought was weird. He would have thought little girls her age preferred bright colors like yellow, pink or purple. 

“Sowwy,” the young girl said looking down, twisting her black flats in the dirt. “I tot you wer ded.” 

Liam couldn’t help but laugh at that. He sat up grabbing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from his picnic basket and handing it to the little girl. She took it right away and smiled brightly. 

“Tanks you!” she said gleefully, making herself comfortable and sitting right next to Liam.

Liam was caught off guard but thought that it was the most precious thing he had ever seen. She ate her sandwich in big bites, always smiling at Liam. He grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to her. The girl took it willingly. 

“What’s your name?” Liam asked. 

“Haroona,” the little girl said, taking the last bite of her sandwich.

Liam handed her another one and she took it gratefully.

“My untles and dady tall me Roo tus I nove to jump nike a tantaroo.” She jumps to her feet and starts hopping like a kangaroo.

Lending her hand out to Liam, he takes it and stands.

“Tum jump wit me!” Haroona laughed loudly, holding Liam’s hand as they both jumped around on the blanket. 

“HAROONA! WHERE ARE YOU BABY GIRL?”

The black haired girl let go of Liam’s hand and waved.

“O’er here dady! Tum jump wit me and my fwen!” She reached out for Liam’s hand but he didn’t budge.

The voice had stopped him in his tracks like an unwelcome memory.

Quickly, he packed up his blanket and stood up, leaving Haroona behind him. 

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder and Liam’s face dropped, a few tears escaping his eyes. 

“Li,” the velvet, enthralling voice is soft, apologetic. “Its been years.”


	2. Chapter 2

Liam doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t want to see him. He vowed to dislodge himself from all the boys after he left the group four years ago, after he found out that his boyfriend had had a one night stand with a fan and got the girl pregnant. Liam took a step away, the hand on his shoulder never leaving. 

“Li,” he said again, this time traces of sorrow etched his voice. 

“Dady, meet my new fwen!” And then Haroona grabbed Liam’s hand and turned him around, facing her father dressed in black jeans, a white undershirt and his signature leather jacket. They look completely identical and Liam wondered why he didn’t make the distinction earlier. Haroona looked like the girl version of Zayn and even matched his choice of style. Liam doesn’t look up. 

On the other hand, his eyes never leave Haroona as she smiled that warm smile and nudged her head towards her father. This was the girl who he loathed. The girl who he never wanted to see or have anything to do with. But as Liam looked at her, he can’t help but give her a similar smile. Liam can’t be mad at her. It wasn’t her fault. It was the stupid excuse of a father that had made the mistake four years ago. But Haroona, even for a short while since he’d known her, Liam thought wasn’t a mistake. She was precious and very friendly. 

Liam hadn’t realized that Haroona was also holding Zayn’s hand and she brought them together, for them to shake. At the touch of Zayn’s hand, Liam felt a sudden energy rise through his body that had been dormant for quite some time. 

“Sake hans sake hans!” she giggled, jumping up and down. Zayn held his hand open, but Liam hesitates. He’s built up so much anger for him that a simple handshake would mean forgiving him. In no way was Liam ready to forgive Zayn for what he did. 

Zayn eventually takes hold of Liam’s fist and holds it longer than a normal handshake. No matter what, Liam doesn’t look up. He doesn’t want to see Zayn’s hazel eyes or see how much he had grown and if fatherhood suited him well. 

“I better go,” Liam said softly, pulling his hand from Zayn’s grasp. With his head still lowered, Liam turned around and walked away. As soon as he got a good yard away, he sobbed into his hand, fighting back the tears that unwillingly fell off his cheeks. 

“LIAM, WAIT!” But he doesn’t turn around. He walked out of the landing, back into the wooded area and onto the stretch of walkway leading back to the main street.  _“LIAM!”_

And Liam’s heart dropped. As it did four years ago when Zayn screamed his name the exact same way, the day he left the band behind. 

The hand is back on his shoulder but Liam shoves it away, quickly turning his walk into a full blown sprint. But before he’s off, Zayn has him in his arms, holding him in a tight embrace. Liam felt the tears soaking in the back of his shirt and Zayn’s hands moving---sinking downwards until they’ve fallen off his side. Until Zayn is kneeling at Liam’s feet. 

Liam takes it as his only chance to make a run for it. 

And he does, leaving both Haroona and Zayn behind him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Liam is breathless by the time he slams the front door behind him. He sinks to his knees, letting the tears fall freely. He can’t control the sobs. He had just seen Zayn---well, heard Zayn's voice and Liam couldn’t contain his anxiety. He always wondered what would happen when their paths would cross, and now, Liam just wanted to pack up his things and move to another town.

Or better yet, another country. Maybe the States? 

Liam left the basket near the door, staggering over into the kitchen for a glass of water. He needed to relax. Brush off today’s surprising event.

Liam took a long swig of iced water and felt the chilling water burn his scorched throat. He took more gulps and whispered to himself not to remember . . .

The day that his life changed forever.

Closing his eyes he sunk to the kitchen floor, his arm blocking out the dim yellow light from the chandelier. 

“Don’t do it, Liam,” he said to himself. “Don’t think about it. Erase them from your memories. They are no one. They are just people who mean nothing to you. Don’t. Think. Stop hurting yourself with the past.” 

Haroona’s smile invaded Liam’s mind. She looked just like her father in all likeness. He shook his head, waiting for the images to leave. 

But they don’t. 

“Sowwy, I tot you wer ded,” her friendly voice rang in his ear. “My untles and dady tall me Roo tus I nove to jump nike a tantaroo.”

Does he still talk to the rest of them? Louis? Niall? Harry? Have they all kept in contact . . . and left him behind?

No! Liam shook his head. Don’t throw yourself a pity party! You left them, they left you. Simple. Nothing to it but abandonment. Its just a good thing you had the upper hand in all this, Liam comforted himself.

He took a long sigh of relief. 

“You don’t need them,” Liam said as reassurance. “Your life is perfect the way it is.”

But when Liam goes to name reasons why his life is so perfect, he doesn’t come up with any. He isolated himself from his friends and family, and has been out the house only for shopping. Liam’s life has been years in isolation, to protect himself from running into . . . him.

And today of all days, a beautiful warm day when he decided to go to the park, it ended up being the day he ran into his worst nightmare. 

It was just Liam’s luck.

Well, his bad luck. 

Liam stood up, fighting off the memory and falling onto the couch, turning on the television. It was a perfect distraction and a few hours of Batman, the incident this afternoon had become a distant memory. 

When the doorbell rings, Liam stands up happily. He ordered pizza an hour ago and he’s been starving all day. He hasn’t touched the picnic basket since making it home, thinking it was cursed. Liam grabbed his wallet out of his pocket and opened the door, counting the money for his pie. 

“Untle Li!”

And just like her father’s voice, the sound makes Liam want to run and hide to the tallest hill.

Before he has any time to react, and he very much thought of slamming the door on both of them, Haroona’s arms are around his thigh and she’s squeezing Liam tightly.

“Dady tod me you my nos untle com bat to me!” She giggled and Liam’s heart couldn’t help but smile warmly down at her. 

“Li,” Zayn said again, his voice soft as velvet. This time Liam couldn’t help but look up.

Liam's mouth dropped. 

Zayn had stubble over his face, his hair still silky, his face still beautiful as ever. Age and fatherhood did him good. He was slightly bigger in muscle. And Liam thought about how he let himself go. He hadn’t exercised for a long time, but he wasn’t fat. He had just lost most of his muscle mass and gotten thinner. 

Liam gulped. 

Zayn Malik was hotter than ever before, smiling that cheeky, ultra white smile that made Liam want to die. 

First thing tomorrow he was going to call his realtor and change location. 

Antarctica seemed very promising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you guys liking the story so far? I hope you guys have fallen in love with Haroona because I have <3


	4. Chapter 4

Zayn walked into the house, looking around the old Victorian styling and creme walls. He nodded, probably judging the lack of decorating skills Liam had managed throughout the years. Liam's house was bland and not very homey. It was like a museum. A very empty, desolate museum. 

Liam managed to break his eyes away from Zayn when Haroona ran back into the room holding a worn down stuffed teddy bear. Liam squeezed his eyes shut, cursing inside of his head. When he opened his eyes, Zayn looked at him with surprise. 

“You kept him?” he asked, taking the bear from Haroona and turning it around in his hands. “This was.”

“Yes,  _was_ ,” Liam said, his voice taut and straight forward. “Is there a reason why you stopped by Zayn? How did you even find me?”

Zayn looked down, ashamed. “I followed you home,” he said, embarrassed. “I didn’t want to lose you.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that. Don’t you think?” Liam crossed his arms, keeping his voice at a respectful level, not to get Haroona scared or uncomfortable. 

Haroona tugged on the bottom of Liam’s shirt. “Dady brot me tus I wana tum an visit my nos untle. Untle NiNi, Untle LuLu and Untle Hazaza wan to tum too but dady say he tot bes to tum onne wit me.” She smiled that cute smile that Liam couldn’t help but melt to. Even for a short time, she had gotten under his skin. 

Liam knelt down to her eye level. “You want pizza, Haroona?” He asked, taking a strand of her hair and putting it behind her ear. “I ordered a cheese pizza and we just have to wait for the delivery boy to get here.”

She jumped with delight. “Dady pease! Dady I wan pitza!”

Zayn looked at his daughter with warm eyes. “You already ate,” he said sternly. But looking at Haroona’s adorably large eyes, he grinned. “Only if Uncle Li wants.” 

Haroona grabbed Liam’s face in her tiny hands, moving it up and down. “Untle Li say yes!” She squeaked with delight, grabbing the bear from her father and skipping into the living room. Liam stood up, trying not to look back at Zayn. 

“You shouldn’t have come,” Liam said harshly. 

Zayn dropped his head. “Li, come on. Don’t be like that.”

Suddenly Liam’s repressed anger is unleashed. “ ‘Don’t be like that’?!” he screeched, making sure his voice was soft enough so Haroona wouldn’t hear. “You fucking cheated on me Zayn. I fucking love,” he choked on the word. “After tonight, don’t ever come back.”

“Liam,” Zayn said tamed, hard. “Its been four years. Please don’t do this. The boys all miss you. I miss you. And Haroona will miss you. She already thinks of you as family and she’s only seen you today! Imagine how heartbroken it would be if I told her you don’t want to see her! It’ll crush her!”

“Kind of how you crushed me,” Liam said spitefully.

Zayn was thrown off his game at that.

“You broke  _my_  heart Zayn. You broke  _me_. You broke up the  _band_. And you just broke that little girl in there,” Liam pointed towards the archway to the living room, “because I’ve been fine without any of you. And I’ll make sure to keep it that way.” 


	5. Chapter 5

The pizza had come right on time before Liam could tell Zayn to get the hell out of his house. Zayn opened the door and before Liam handed him the money, Zayn pulled out his wallet and paid for it. He walked passed Liam, standing in front of the archway to the next room. No matter what, Liam would never say that Zayn fit perfectly into his world. 

“You coming grandpa?” he asked, holding the pizza like a tray in one hand. Liam could hear Haroona squealing with delight. 

Liam rolled his eyes, hiding his minuscule grin. 

When Liam walked into the doorway, Haroona held the teddy bear in her arms like a lifeline, jumping up and down when her dad handed her a slice. Liam walked to the kitchen to grab some napkins and drinks. He pulled out orange juice for Haroona and two cans of soda for him and Zayn. When he turned around, Zayn was right in back of him. 

Too close. Really really close. 

“Ever heard of personal space,” Liam scoffed, walking around him. 

Zayn let him and followed him back into the living room. Haroona thanked Liam for the drink and he handed one to Zayn. As Zayn grabbed the can, he held onto Liam’s hand. Liam shot a death stare at him, but Zayn’s eyes were almost endearing, warm. “Can we talk?” he asked. “In private.”

“Can we talk? We’re talking,” Liam said sarcastically, pulling his hand away from Zayn. “May we talk? N. O. You had your chance to talk a long time ago, and guess what?” Liam scoffed. “You didn’t take it.”

“You were the one who ran away Liam,” Zayn said as softly as he could through gritted teeth. “I called you every day until you changed phone numbers, and no one would give me your new one.” Zayn stared back at Liam with the same intense stare. “I made the effort to hash things out with you but you wouldn’t hear it. I wanted to apologize.”

“And now you have,” Liam rolled his eyes, sitting down next to Haroona who was too wrapped up with the cartoons playing on screen. Zayn rolled a growl through his teeth, grabbed a slice of pizza from the box and fell on the cushion next to Liam. 

Liam immediately tensed. He could hear Zayn’s chuckle and he really wanted to punch him in his too perfect face. They sat like this for hours, watching cartoons, eating pizza, Haroona making herself comfortable on Liam’s side. It reminded Liam of the old days. Well, apart from the new cute addition who was falling asleep with pizza sauce all over her face. Liam ran his hand through her long, black hair. He got lost in the moment and didn’t realize that a few tears were dropping from his eyes. 

“What’s the matter Li?” Zayn asked, sitting up. 

Liam shook his head, standing up and heading back to the kitchen, making sure not to wake precious Haroona from her sleep. In the kitchen, Liam grabbed his all too familiar bourbon from the top cabinet and poured himself a glass. Wiping away the tears, he downed the first shot and poured him another one. 

Zayn’s hand stopped him from raising the second one to his lips. He took the shot glass away from Liam and downed it himself, smacking his lips when the burning liquid seared down his throat. “Haven’t had a drink in ages,” he said, handing Liam back the glass. 

Slowly Liam poured another one, stashing the bottle back in the cabinet. He took a quick sip before speaking again. “Why are you doing this Zayn? What do you want?” Liam hopped onto the counter, his head down, swishing the light brown liquid around in the glass. 

Zayn sighed, scratching his head. “If we’re cutting down to the chase, then, I want _you_ Liam. I want you back.”


	6. Chapter 6

Liam lost all feeling in his body and the glass slipped out of his fingers, smashing into pieces on the floor. They stared at each other with great intensity but Liam knew behind Zayn’s dark gaze was fear.

Zayn stalked forward, walking over the broken glass, pushing Liam’s dangling legs wider so they were face to face. Liam’s head hung down, keeping his secret emotions, well, secret. 

“I---,” Liam exhaled sharply, “I don’t want you back. Besides, what happened to the love of your life you cheated on me with? Obviously you loved her more than me. What was it? Was I being too hard on you back then? Did I make you feel uncomfortable?”

Liam’s eyes furrowed, asking the questions that have been built up for years.

“Was I not good enough? Did you just take me for a merry-go-round and couldn’t think of another way of breaking it to me, so you do the one thing you know would break my heart. You cheat on me. And feed my beaten heart to the wolves.”

Liam grabbed hold of Zayn’s jacket, shaking him, crying his emotions away.

“What was it Zayn?" he cried. "Why wasn’t I good enough for you?” 

Zayn grabbed Liam’s face, wiping the tears from his eyes with his thumbs. “I never stopped loving you, Liam. You meant and still mean the world to me.”

Liam shook his head, knowing full well that if Zayn really loved him, he wouldn’t have cheated.

Zayn’s grasp tightened.

“I love you Liam. What happened was a mistake and it meant nothing to me.”

“Well it meant something to me!” Liam shouted, bursting in more tears.

He pushed Zayn back till he hit the marbled island.

“You cheated on me you fucking inconsiderate, no good for nothing bastard! I loved you so fucking much and as soon as the going got tough, you ran away and screwed the first dame that was willing to lay down and take it! You didn’t want me!”

Liam was breathing heavily, gasping for air.

"I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life,” he cried. “But you ran away! Did you know how that made me feel? To feel unwanted and---and humiliated?” 

The gold chain around Liam's neck made it hard for him to breathe. He tore it off, throwing it at Zayn and it clinked on the floor. A small gold band rolled near Zayn’s feet.

Zayn looked down at the ring, fell to the floor and cried. 

“I’m sorry!" he cried, picking the ring from the ground. "Please take me back, Liam! I don't want to live my life anymore without you.”

“You’re four years late,” Liam’s tone turned harsher. Acidic. “I gave you the chance to spend forever with me but you ran away and got a girl pregnant. Get the hell out of my house and don’t ever bother me again.”


	7. Chapter 7

Zayn wept on the floor, his entire body shook uncontrollably. Liam looked at him for only a second before walking out of the room, his hands crossed against his chest, holding himself back. Keeping himself together. 

Zayn made his decision, Liam thought. Now I just made mine.

He walked upstairs to his room. After the door closed behind him, his strength left him and he fell to the floor, a wave of emotions hitting him at once. 

His creme carpet soaked up his tears and soon Liam fell asleep. 

The sun was bright when Liam woke up the next morning. He knew today was already going to be a bad day. He had a major headache and his body was stiff. As Liam sat up, he realized that he was on top of his bed, which was weird because he vividly remembered sleeping on the floor. Liam turned his head slowly, as if he could sense another presence beside him. 

But the other side of the bed was empty. 

Liam couldn’t help but feel a little sad about that. With one long stretch, Liam glanced over to his clock on the dresser. Beside it was a folded piece of paper. Quickly, Liam unraveled every fold and stared at the writing. 

It was definitely written by Zayn.  

_Li,_

_Don’t you ever doubt for one second my love you. I never stopped loving you. And when I saw you with Haroona the other day, you just fit so perfectly into our world and it seemed like you never left. There’s nothing more I can say about what caused the riff between us. It was a mistake, but what came out of it was a miracle. I got Haroona. A child that embodies life and joy and happiness. All these things I had also found in you. Its actually quite funny that your name means protector. So does Haroona. It was my great grandmother’s name, who was arabic like my grandfather. Her name also means protector. She protected me from falling deeper into the state of depression I was in when I cheated on you. Nothing could lift me from my mood because all I wanted in the entire world was you. But when Haroona was born, some of that burden was taken off of my shoulders. But deep inside, I knew my heart wasn’t completely healed. I had lost my true knight in shining armor. You, Li. Now there’s no way I can take back what I did, and if you asked me if I’d take it back, I would  say no. Because I got Haroona out of all of it, and I can’t see a life without her. Just as I can’t see a life without you. Haroona’s mother is no longer in her life because as it seemed, all she was after was my money. She used Haroona as a bargaining chip, and when she was born, she swore I would never see her if I didn’t give her a lump sum of ten million dollars. I paid it and she has no rights to Haroona or is allowed to see her under any circumstance. The boys have all been around, and they’ve been by my side since Haroona’s birth. I just wish that you can be a part of our lives. It’ll mean so much to me. That is why I’m keeping the engagement ring I had pushed aside those four years ago. If you would have me, there’s a gift that I want you to have. And yes, I take full responsibility for our breakup. But I’m hoping what I have for you will show you how sorry I am. It’s waiting for you in the kitchen, followed by another note._

_P.S. I love you and will always continue to love you._

_-Your Zayn_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update guys. Still trynna fix my computer. Cross your fingers that it'll be fixed by this week!!! Just gotta go stop at Super Geeks. Meep.

Liam moved faster than he ever had in his life, running to the kitchen and finding another folded note on the counter he had sat on last night.

The glass of bourbon he had spilled was cleaned up, and Liam padded across the wooden floors for the next note, wondering what it would say.

With delicate fingers, Liam unfolded each crease with achingly slow movement, a fear of the unknown suddenly drowning on his parade. There was something inside of the note and it fell, rolled over the counter and dropped with a thud.

Liam also noticed that the letter was thicker. There were five pages back to back covered in Zayn’s fancy handwriting.

In it read:

  _Dear Liam,_

_Before I say anything else, know this. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 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I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you._

_A thousand I love you’s to show you how much you mean to me. And a thousand more every day if you choose to answer me this . . . Will you marry me? I’ll come back tonight for your answer or if you never want to see me again, my number is still the same. Please, Liam. I’ve spent four years without you, and I don’t want to spend anymore alone._

_-Your Zayn_

_xoxo_

Liam read every I love you in the letter, falling to his knees on two hundred forty eight. And before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed his phone and punched in the number he knew too well. Liam cried, waiting for the voice, the voice he needed to hear at this moment. 

Finally, an answer. 

“It’s Liam,” he sobbed, finding it useless to wipe away his tears when they’d just come rolling back ten folds. “Get me the hell out of here! I have to move!”

It was his realtor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. So short, yah? But I did warn you beforehand, and I hope you're angst is slowly building...


	9. Chapter 9

Zayn left Haroona home that night, apart from her constant whines and cute antics for her to see Uncle Li. But Zayn thought it best if she just left her home with Niall, Louis and Harry. They had all stopped by when Zayn had texted them what he had done. Everyone was for it, and they just hoped that Liam, the last piece of the puzzle, their lost brother and friend would come back to them. They all wished Zayn well, Niall holding Haroona in his arms as they waved. 

Zayn got into his car, breathing heavily. He had finally done it. After years of contemplating whether or not he had the balls to go through with it, he did. Now it was Liam’s choice to say yes. To forgive Zayn for what he did. And to spend forever with him, how it truly should have been those many years ago.

He drove down the road to Liam’s home, shedding a few tears as he went. He thought about Liam every day, and even when he tried not to, would suffer the consequences of withdrawals. He had collected many of Liam’s things when he left. His clothes, his  toiletries, some of his prized posessions that Liam couldn’t grab because they were all at Zayn’s flat, and Liam had said they were all cursed with his adultery. Before Haroona was born, and even after when he needed to smell Liam, he would spray Liam’s cologne over his bed and imagine that Liam was in the same bed with him. Zayn even slept with Liam’s clothes like a blanket. Yes, he never stopped loving him, it was just that stupid night! When he had let down his guard, and was so scared of Liam’s proposal. It was all so sudden. They were still young. 

But when Zayn thought about, their love was old as time itself. It was pure(or was, when he hadn’t cheated). 

Zayn sped throughout the streets, driving aimlessly down the road until he stopped at the pretty townhouse that he had bypassed much times, never once knowing that the love of his life was perched inside. 

Taking heaving breaths of cold air, Zayn clicked open the car, stepped outside and walked over to Liam’s door. He couldn’t stop the crying now. They fell welcoming on his cheeks. Not once had Liam called him, and the lights were all on in the house. 

Opening the door, Zayn walked through, inhaling another breath and walking in. This was it. His entire life was on the line. The climax to the choice between his happily ever after. 

As soon as he walked through the threshold, there was something different. 

The small smile from Zayn’s lips had slowly faltered as he realized that there was something missing. 

Everything. 

The house was barren as if he had just walked into an open house. Slowly, Zayn wandered through the house, looking around the empty sitting area, he walked upstairs to the rooms, and every room was stark empty. He rushed down to the kitchen. 

Did he get my note? He wondered, a fresh new round of tears forming. 

When he made it to the kitchen, he saw the note on the kitchen counter and he ran to retrieve it, noticing many wet spots on top of his letter. On the corner of his eye, he noticed a glimmering object near the sink. 

It was the ring! The ring he had bought before the fight. When he finally realized that through it all, he couldn’t live a life without Liam. And he was going to prove his apologies every day for the rest of his life. 

Zayn fell to the floor, the letter and ring clutched inside of his hands. 

“He doesn’t want me,” he sobbed out loud. “He doesn’t want me,” he said again. “HE DOESN’T WANT ME!” he shouted, crying and feeling how Liam felt all those years ago.

 


	10. Chapter 10

By the time Zayn got to his feet, he felt as if his entire body had aged a hundred years. He stumbled out of the kitchen, catching the wall before falling again to his knees. How could Liam do this to him? How could he just leave without a single word? 

Zayn cried harder when he realized that he had did the same thing to Liam four years ago. This wasn’t just deja vu. It was karma. Why should he think Liam would have said yes when he didn’t deserve it?

Didn’t deserve  _him_. 

It was his fault anyways. Why would Liam forgive him, after doing a dick ass move as sleeping with someone while they were still together? 

Zayn got back to his feet, feeling a surge of heat rush through him. It was nobody’s fault but his own. He was the one who left Liam. He was the one who cheated. And he was the one that didn’t deserve anything. 

Even Haroona. 

He was a shit father. He was shit boyfriend. And he was a shit of a man. 

Slamming the front door behind him, he sulked to the car and drove away. He knew the best thing to do was to go home, but Zayn drove into a sketchy part of town, to a place he used to visit when raising Haroona had become too unbearable. 

The neon lights flashed purple and pink. Zayn parked the car on the side of the street and walked in. 

A gray smoke consumed him as he stepped towards the bar, ignoring the throng of bodies pressed against one another. He sat down, waving the all too familiar waitress for his regular order. She smiled warmly at Zayn, placing a shot glass and an unopened bottle of tonic in front of him. 

“It’s been a while,” she said, popping the cap open and pouring Zayn a shot. “What’s the occasion?”

“Memories,” Zayn said darkly, putting the shot back and shaking the empty glass for another. 

The waitress poured him another. 

“Good or bad memories?” she asked, leaning on the counter in front of Zayn. 

“The best.” 

Zayn downed another shot, repeating the process until his bottle of tonic was almost empty. His throat was tight, his skin burning and the numbing pain he felt earlier, disappeared. On his last shot, the tonic felt like water. Easing down his throat, Zayn smacked his lips together, turning into the throng of bodies. 

For a moment, he moved his body with the music until noticing a familiar face in the sea of people walking towards him. Zayn turned around quickly, feeling his head dizzying from the swift movement. He groaned, smacking his head on the counter when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“I thought I’d find you here.”


	11. Chapter 11

Niall smiled warmly, taking the seat next to Zayn. He had grown taller, and his bone structure was more define. He lost his innocent look though. He was more muscular and manly. 

“Can I have two glasses of water,” Niall called out to the waitress, who smiled, nodded her head and placed it in front of them. “Drink,” he said to Zayn, holding up the glass. 

Zayn groaned softly, grabbing the cup and drinking it whole. He felt refreshed, but still felt the amount of alcohol he consumed creeping up on him with revenge. 

“What are you doing here, Niall? You didn’t bring Haroona with you, did you?”

“Of course not,” Niall said, handing Zayn the other glass. Zayn took it willingly and drank. “I left her home with Lou and Haz. She fell asleep an hour ago with that teddy bear she brought from Liam’s house yesterday. I swear she carried that thing around all day today.

“Not good, huh?” Niall sighed. “What happened?”

Zayn tensed, feeling it constrict his spine. He tried not to cry. 

“He,” Zayn stuttered, “he left. When I got there, he was gone. Everything. It was like he was never there. Like I concocted the entire yesterday.” 

Zayn brought out the ring from his pocket and twirled it in his fingers. 

“He didn’t want me.” The truth couldn’t help but spring tears to Zayn’s eyes. “Why would he? I cheated on him. Why would I expect him to forgive me so easily after I broke his heart into dust. I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve Haroona. I don’t deserve anyone.”

“You deserve a good night’s rest,” Niall smiled, fondly. “Where’s the keys to the car?”

Zayn dug through his pocket and handed Niall the keys. 

Niall patted Zayn on the shoulder, helping him from his seat. They walked out of the bar and towards the car. Zayn was dead weight in Niall’s arms. He was dragged almost all the way. 

Niall maneuvered with Zayn in his arms, opening the door and then putting him in the car. 

Buckling him up, Niall felt an immense amount of heat from Zayn. He looked towards his best friend, his eyes runny and dark. 

And before he knew how to react, Zayn was leaning forward to kiss him. 


	12. Chapter 12

Zayn could feel Niall's hot breath against his lips as he leaned in for the kiss. He looked into the bold, clear oceanic eyes and stopped. They were a warning, as well as assurance. 

Groggily, Zayn slumped back into his seat. 

"I'm sorry," he sighed, turning his head away from his best friend. They had been through everything together. The break-up with Liam. The birth of Haroona as well as the court order claiming full legal rights to her. Haroona's birthdays, holidays and first day of preschool. Zayn had a lot to be thankful for. He had Niall who has never left his side.

Zayn was glad that when he asked Niall to move in together, to help him raise Haroona. Niall had smiled warmly and said he would do it. They had lived together ever since the band had dispersed, and received the occasional visit from Harry and Louis who lived a couple towns over. They made one big happy family . . . but it still was incomplete. It was missing Liam. 

It had always been missing Liam.

But why would he just leave . . .

Zayn sobbed to himself, feeling as Niall's reassuring pat on his shoulder disappeared, and he had walked over to the driver's side, turned on the car and pulled out into the empty street. He already knew the answer. It was because he had done the same to thing to him before. 

Karma. He hated it. Just as much as he hated himself. 

"Haroona might still be up," Niall said, over the soft lull of acoustic music coming from the speakers. "Lou bought her a new easy bake oven and they've spent almost the entire night trying to figure out how the thing works."

Zayn remained silent, looking out of the window, watching as the city lights, neon signs and stars collided as one. The soft music helped with Zayn's headache, but nothing could be done to the ache inside of his heart. The only solution was gone, without a trace to his new whereabouts. How was he going to find Liam? Would it take another chance encounter like yesterday, four years later when destiny decided to cross their paths together again?

All of a sudden, Niall's phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket, checked the screen, then handed it to Zayn. It's for you. 

He doesn't know why, but Zayn automatically thinks it's Liam. He rushes to grab the phone from Niall's hand, only to be disappointed(only slightly) to the name 'Roo' flashing on the screen. He still couldn't believe that he had caved into letting Louis get her a cellphone. Louis had convinced Zayn that it was totally normal for girls her age to have a phone just in case of emergencies. She had pulled out her puppy eyes, and it was a complete loss. 

"Dady!" she squealed into the phone. 

Zayn couldn't stop himself from smiling a little. 

"Hey baby girl."

"Untle Nunu and Untle Hazzaza make me tookies! Chochat chip, Dady! My tumy hapy!"

"That's good, sweetie. Don't eat too much. It's about time you go brush your teeth and head for bed. It's late."

"Nuh uh," she said, and Zayn could imagine her shaking her head. "I wait for Untle Li to read me to sneep!"

Zayn's heart fell in his chest. His voice cracked. 

"No, Haroona. He's not coming."

"Why Dady? Why?"

"He doesn't love us," Zayn said, breaking down immediately after his own words. He stifled his cries in his hand, feeling as stinging tears fell from his eyes down his cheeks. 

Haroona cried as well.

"No Untle Li!" she cried, and Zayn felt himself sink lower. "But I nuve him Dady! Why he no nuve me?"

"Because," Zayn choked. "Because I don't deserve him."

And Zayn ended the call, throwing it behind him, curling in on himself and crying himself blind.  

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
